Funny Tamil One Liners (தமிழ் காமெடி பஞ்ச்)

Here is a collection of ma favorite comedy one liners from Tamil Cinema. Apparently Goundamani and Vadivelu fill up most of my memory.

Feel if I have missed some? Comment it out!

Goundamani

1. arasiyal vazhkaila ithellam sagajamappa!

2. Narayana...intha kosu thollai thanga mudillada

3. start meesik!

4. Onnu intha irruku...Unnunu enga?

5. Pera paaru....Sangoothara vayasala Sangeeetha

6. Athu enda enna paathu antha kelvi ketta?

7. Vadi partasarathy...

8. Enga villan varapo kai thatreenga? -- ithu tha padathula oru turrning pointu

9. Dai appa...unnala ore oru nanmada...vazhka poora nan current bill katnathillada

10. Naangalavathu ungakita sollitu than vanthom...neeennga

11. Dai thaadi..25 varusham kazhichu un vazkaila kabi..kabi nadanthurukunu roma thullatha?

12. petromas light-ey thaan venuma? intha theepanddam ellam koluthikka koodatha?

13. Intha world lileye car vechurukara karagata troop nammuluthu than

14. Hey inga poosu...inga poosu...Ganda kannalagi

15. Hey take the tontiphy

16. Dai kidna naaye..avlolam kuduka mudiyathu

17. Nee sonna vaakiyatha thanjavore kalvetula eludhi vachitu neeyum pakkathula utkanthuko.....unnaku pinadi vara santhathikal atha paathu thelivaa naadhukuvanga...

18. shhh...Mother poranga -- Yaaru namma ammangla -- No, Mother Superior -- Ooo Supaari paaku poduvangala?

19. Dai kidna naaye..avlolam kuduka mudiyathu

20. pen paathukarathu thaarathoda thagapanar....Pen Paathu udrathu thaarathoda thaayar

21. Aalaaparu....Manasula Michael Jackson thangachi nu nenapu

22. Cinema nadigai soppanasundariya yaaru vechuruka nu kekaran

23. Suriyana suttathu yaaru? Hee He..Suriyana yaarum suda mudiyathu sir..Suriya veppam than nammala sudum.

Vadivelu

1. Vanthutaanya....Vanthutaaya

2. Room pottu yosipaangalo?

3. Enna vechu comedy keemedy pannalaiye?

4. Ennaku risk edukarathellam rask saapudramathiri

5. Thaniya poi keeta athu thagararu---Thanniya pottu poi ketta athu varalaru

6. Enna poramaiya.....Liggghtttta

7. Yov..naanum rowdi thaanya...Ennayum jeepla yethu

Vivek

1. Figure a paatha udne Friend a cut pannitiyeda

2. Neenga verum daasa...illa laad labaku dasa?

3. Epdi irruntha nan ipdi aaiten

4. Padhil sonna prize oru kodi...Enga aalunga adicha nee dead body

Other

1. Rendaayiram....Naalayiram.....Ettayiram....Mama Biskothu! (Pandiyarajan)

2. Engiyoo poitenga sir (Janagaraj)

3. Thraaambi...(Veniradai Moorthi)

4. Anee....thula epdine light eriyum?(Senthil)

Madisar and the City - The Remix


Year - 2010

Location - Mylapore, Chennai

Context - Bored of Mangai, Thali Pudhusu, Thali Baagyam, Manjal Kayiru, Kunguman, Thulasi, Penn Dheivam and the sterio typical Mega Serials - Visalam and Gomathy turn their attention to 'Sex and the City' - now being televised on SUN TV!

They analyze the ins and outs of the series on a Monday afternoon with some filter kaapi and a plate of hot bajjis.

Over to Visalam and Gomathi.

Visalam : Yendi nethu intha Samantha panna kariyatha paathionno!

Gomathi : Yaaru Sex and the City Samantha va pathiya sollre?

Visalam: Vera yaarapathidi nan unkitta pesa poren

Gomathi: nanum paathen…avalukunu vanthu pasanga maatraale!

Visalam: irunthaalum oru pombaliku ivlo aangaram aagathudi ma.

Gomathi: Samantha oru New York Neelambari ndra!!! Athu irrukatum, nethiku Charlotte oda dressa paathiya….Enna azhaga irunthuthu illa!

Visalam: pinna GUCCI azaga illama eppadi irrukum….naanum enga aathukarara ore oru GUCCI handbag vangi kodungo nu keetu keetu aluthu poiten….manuzhan asaiya maatendrar……..”GUCCI velaiya paathu , en MOOCHU ninnu POCHU” nu asatu comment vera! Intha manushana asaika mudiyathunu naanum vittuten.

Gomathi: Seri vidudi…namellam Gucci catalog pakarthoda niruthika vendiyathan.

Visalam: Carie oda booku nethu publication ku approve aadithu paathiya

Gomathi: aama, avaloda boy friend ku pogavendiya chance athu. Ithu theriyama antha paithyam avantiye poi, peethindruku…….mukkavasi ava renduperum adutha vaaram break up aaiduvanu nenaikaren

Visalam: avalumthan ethana aamblaya maathuvalo!!

Gomathi: nalu perukum boy friend e irruka koodathu…..appdi irunthalum break-up aaidanum….kalyaname aagakoodathu…….apdi aanalum annulment’o divorce’o aaidanum……..illena kathaila oru viruvirupe illama poidume. Single a irrukaravaraikum than sex and the ciry, kalyanam aaiduthuna, vex and the city.

Visalam: nee vena paru, antha Carie ku avaloda high school boy friend than set aaga porathu

Gomathi: yaru, antha mental asylathla thanna thaane check-in panindathe….athuva….

Visalam: Ennamo ma….namma vazha nenacha vazhkaiya ava naalu perum vazhra….hmmmmm

Gomathi: Samantha alavuku vendam……oru Miranda alavukkavathu nu kekaraiyakum… seri..seri…rumba perumoochu vidatha….unga aathukaarar ketuda porar…..appram Family Guy Peter Griffin mathiri melaiyum kezhaiyum kuthipaar, antha asatu sirpooda!

(Note1- No, I don't watch Sex and the City - so stop judging me;) )

(Note2- To the horny dude who was directed to this page by Google, I exactly know what you searched for(Thank you Google Analytics) , and this aint the stuff which you should have known by now:)) )

The Angry Vijay!

Update - All the videos have been removed due to 'terms of use violation'.  Not sure who violated what, but Vijay, we have all seen this video atleast once and have a local copy in our hard drives ;)

If you have searched for 'Vijay Angry' in Google, then you are not alone.  This seems to be the most searched keyword atleast for the Kollywood followers for the past two days.

So, what really happend?  

1.  Vijay attends a press meet and the following happens -

 2.  When asked for an explanation, he had the following to say - 

3.  'Mr.Vijay, we have never seen you let it out like this.  This is so not you.  What happened?'  And Vijay pointed out this person in the following video was testing his limits with his questions.  We hear you Vijay...We hear you!

4. Silence!...

Mahatma Gandhi Going Once..Twice..And SOLD!!!

 

 ‘Ladies and gentlemen, the next item on display is Mahatma Gandhi’s Pocket watch, accompanied by his Sandals, bowl, plate and glasses’ announced the auctioneer in the Antiquorum in New York.  There were tons of bidders present at the event, with the highlight being on the distillery tycoon Vijay Mallya.  He was under a tremendous pressure to place the winning bid and bring the most treasured Gandhi’s belongings back to where it belonged, India. 

 

‘The official starting bid of these items start at $20,000, please place your bids now’ yelled the announcer. 

’Forty thousand dollars’ yelled one bidder

‘Ninety thousand’ came the response from another

‘One Million dollars’ shouted an antique collector from Los Angeles

‘1.2 Million’ said another bidder

‘1.2 Million Is the current highest bid, going once, going twice…….’ Stress was mounting on Mallya and it was high time for him to place his bid which would save India’s dignity (?)

 

‘1.8 Million Dollars’ screamed Mr. Mallya.  That’s it!  There were no more takers.  All the belongings of Gandhi, now officially belonged to Mallya, which means it now belonged to the people of India!

  

All went well, and Mr. Mallya was ready to finish the final paperwork to close the deal officially.  When he was about to make an exit from the Antiquorum, someone came rushing towards him screaming,

‘Mr. Mallya…Mr. Mallya…..you almost forgot this.  This comes along with the items that you just won’

 

Mallya looked at that and was visibly panicking. 

‘I never bid for this…and I never will.  Who would need this and what could one possibly do with this’ screamed Mallya

 

‘But sir, we have clearly mentioned this in our fine print.  When you look at the terms and conditions of this auction, it reads that the winning bidder of Gandhi’s belongings assumes full responsibility of this item along with the items that he/she won’

Mallya had nobody to blame but himself, for not reading the fine print and he considered himself being tricked into this by the auctioneers. 

 

As this was a high profile auction, he was aware this news will instantly reach millions of people in India, and he knows that when everyone comes to know about ‘this’ they are not going to be very happy.  Mallya knows that no one in his home country cares about this additional ‘item’, as the Indian public has long disowned it.

 

He was panicking.  He had to get some support from the Government of India to deal with this situation.  The best thing he can do is to call up the leaders of the ruling party and the opposition party to handle this situation.  He got the two leaders on the line and started explaining about how he missed the terms and conditions and how he ended up with ‘the additional item’ along with the items that be bid for.  He was trying to persuade the leaders of both the parties to accept ‘this’, and was even ready to pay a hefty amount for whichever party that is ready to accept.

 

The response was unanimous from both the party leaders.

 

‘Mallya, who do you think we are?  We are politicians and this is strictly against our policy to deal with anything like ‘this’.  It is true that we wanted to win the other items like his Spectacles, Sandals and the Bowl that belonged to Gandhi….but this?  Sorry Mallya…this is election season and we don’t want the public to think that we had anything to do with ‘this’. ‘

 

Mallya replied ‘It was you both who forced me to do this auction in the first place.  You cannot back out just because of ‘this’.  If you politicians don’t want ‘this’ and the people of India don’t want ‘this’, who do you think I should take ‘this’ to?  I don’t care even if I am losing money, I am going to set up another auction for ‘this’ and hopefully some one would buy it’.

 

The next morning, a new item had surfaced in the list of ‘items’ for auction. 

The title read--

‘On Sale Now. The Principles of Mahatma Gandhi.  The official starting bid for ‘this’ item is ONE DOLLAR’!

 

Thanks Appa for the original idea

Read more about 'this' on wikiHow

 

Food in India

Click to enlarge.  Thanks to This blogger for the image.

ENTHIRAN - Latest Images

Here are some pretty cool images from the shooting spot.

I am going to add 'Enthiran' to the list of movies filmed in Machu Picchu Wiki.

Rajni, Aish and the villan Danny.  

International Robotic Conference in India - Why do I see two Rajnis in this pic?

Again, I am confused about the two images on the mirror !?

Dasavatharam, Sivaji and the Reality Check

Exactly after a year later Sivaji - The Boss, we now have Dasavatharam. Kamal and his producer Aaskar Ravi (Oh yeah..He is not Oscar anymore!) made sure that they did everything possible to promote the movie and tried really hard to hit the headlines atleast for the past one month, before the release. They even went to the extent of inviting Jackie Chan and Amitab Bachan (I have no idea why they did) for the Audio release function in Nehru Stadium. The controversies also added more interest among the movie buffs. Kamal also screened the movie to Karunanithi (Who has been involved in almost all the audio release and movie premiers recently - and yea, he does have a job of being the Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu) who supposedly was really impressed and congratulated his effort (I don't understand this - you screen a movie exclusively for a celebrity and what else will you expect out of them at the end of the show? It is like my friend and his wife inviting me for dinner and me saying the food was awesome, even though it sucked big time ;) )

Ok, enough said about how much was done to promote Dasavatharam. The question now is, have all the marketing thingy paid off for Dasavatharam? Has it created enough interest among people? Google Trends can help you with that. Trends has been here for about a year and half now. For those who want to learn how this works - go here to learn.

Basically, Google trends will plot the popularity of a subject based on Search Volume Index. In other words, you can easily say how many people were searching for a subject or how many times that subject was listed in google news for the past 4 years.

Let's compare how Dasavatharam and Sivaji faired among the internet users. The results displayed are world-wide statistics.

dasavatharam

1.00

sivaji

7.00

Clearly, on the day of its release in June 2007, Sivaji (The Red Graph) hits a peak among internet users. Also, the small graph below shows the number of news reference for that particular week. You may claim that lot of hits may have come from Sivaji - the name, rather than Sivaji - the movie. Wrong. The search increased just on the movie release date and it took almost a month the settle down. Also, as some of you might have heard already, Google also lists Top 100 searches every day. Now, these results are only from the US and not global. On June 14 2007 (the release date for sivaji), the search phrase 'sivaji review' comes in at number 69. It is just the people in the US searching for it. Even though it was a slow news day, it had to stand up against the US open, the tooth paste recall, the flag day etc., during that day, last year. I have not seen any other Indian movie doing that before. The cool thing about hot trends is that, it lets you go back up to 2 years and search for the top 100 hot trends for every day in those past years. Trends also lists the related news articles alongside the results. All the A, B, C s that you see on the red graph above corresponds to Sivaji - the movie news article that touched periodic peaks. A complete set of country wide, state wide, city wide results can be found here. Bottom line, Dasavatharam clearly did not create enough interest before or on its day of release. I am almost positive that a movie's verdict will be directly proportional to these results.

Another movie that came to my mind when I thought of crazy marketing is Om Shanti Om. SRK is undoubtedly the marketing guru, when it comes to his movies. He was literally on all the TV channels all the time before the movie hit the screens.

Lets take a look at how it compared with Sivaji.

sivaji

1.00

om shanti om

1.20

As it came out during November 2007, the curiosity among internet users gradually increased and peaked during its release date.

The one thing that we should notice in the above graphs is their pattern. It is really interesting to see how the two graphs have a pre-release short peak and touches the high point on the day of its release. Later, the hype (or the graph) gradually settles down in a month.

Going with these statistics, Dasavatharam will fail to make the cash registers ringing. Kamal might have to go back to the drawing board and work on getting this graph right for his next.

Bollywood for Barack!

Check this cool video out. Watch out for PrabuDeva around 1:25!