Vacation Geolocation

"Ganga, lets not get carried away by this.  We are going to India for just 3 weeks.  I have equally split the times between your house and my house.  We stay at my place for 15 days and we stay at yours for 10 days.  It sounds totally fair and lets not make this a big deal considering we have stayed in the US for gazillion years without a vacation." 

"Very funny Gowtham.  I am not staying less than 15 days at my place in Delhi.  There is no room for further negotiation on this.  I am going there after 2 years, so it better be worth it.  I have already made plans with Tina, Meena and Ranchal.  And by the way, why do you want spend more time at your place?  You are just going to sit there and watch TV for eternity.  Which is exactly what you do over here too.  Why do you even bother traveling 7000 miles for it?" 

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"You will never get it Ganga.  It is a different feel. You have to experience to love them.  How do I explain to you? Its like having a gol gappa at an restaurant innovatively named as ‘Taj Mahal’ in Chicago vs having it by the streets at Connaught place.  It is like listening to Sunidhi Chouhan vs. Shreya Goshal.  You know what I mean?"

"Great.  I don’t remember you showing so much feeling and emotion towards me in all these years.  Keep your food analogies to yourself, and don’t try too hard referencing something from the north.  Stick to your Idly/Sambaar and Rajnikanth."

"Ok, back to our topic.  I said 15 days at my place because clearly I have a mathematical advantage over it.  8 Athais, 12 Perippas, 5 Chittis, and 3 Mamas.  Each gets a visit for 30 minutes plus we have 9 Temples to cover.  So if you do the math, we actually need 18 days.  I am being gracious in saying we need just 15 days out of 25 days of our trip."

"As if I am the single person on my entire family.  What about all my mami s family who you have successfully skipped in all our previous trips?  We also have to go to our 3rd cousin's 4th sister marriage.  I cannot miss that.  There is also Kullu Manali on my mind as well.  So be a little practical."

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"Sorry Ganga, this is not possible.  Either we spend 15 days at ours and 10 days at yours or we are not going at all.  I am serious this time.  Forget the trip."

"I have called your bluff before and will call it again.  The answer is no.  We are staying 15 days at mine and 10 in yours.  Done.  Lets move on."

******

"No Ganga.  I said No.  Lets cancel it.  Lets cancel it.  Lets not go at all."

******

"Gowtam…Gowtam…wake up.  What are you yelling about?  Its 6AM.  Go get the milk from outside.  I have to get Prinyanka ready for school."

Goutam slowly realized that he was dreaming about how things went there back in the US. He was thinking about how things have changed as he reached outside the gate in his Mumbai flat to grab milk.  Everything has changed, except Priyanka’s half-yearly vacations were due in a month - and the same conversation about Geolocating their vacation was due - this time the fight will be three ways!

Death by Thousand Corrects

Rahul was very depressed. He would stand before the mirror every day and cry for 30 minutes.  He had every thing going for him. He was smart, had a caring family, had a well paying job, but still on top of his head, he still felt like his life lacked the color that that he had few years before. 

That day he decided that he cannot take this anymore.  He thought the world was unfair towards him. His door bell rang. There was this Amazon package with brand new set of knifes with shiny black handles along with few other items.  “Oh God, are you with me on my decision?” he cannot help but think.  He turned on his TV, and out of nowhere, there was this Guru giving a speech about how meaningless one's life would be without the colors that nature had to offer.  This was getting way too coincidental for him.  On his head, taking away all the misery and greyness in his life was the best available option he had . 

He stood in front of the mirror and talked to himself crying "Rahul, there is no way out for your depressed life.  Just die.  You cannot survive in this judging world which sees things simply as black and white.  People die everyday, they are not cowards.  They are just being practical and they teach the world a lesson for being mean.  Just die Rahul.  This is it. Just die"

He took the Amazon box he picked up minutes before.  There it was waiting for him to take them on his hands and cut it open.  He opened the brand new box of Godrej Nature Care hair dye that his wife ordered for him along with the knife set. Greyness was about to become a thing of the past on his life.

Did I say die? Stupid Autocorrect!

Quality Family Time!

Kids had some quality family time over the weekend.

2 year old daughter was watching baby rhymes on her shiny 1+1
3 year old niece was streaming Disney on his Samsung S 3
6 year old nephew was busy with angry birds on his iPhone 6
9 year old son was fruit ninja’ing on his Nexus 9

Kids love being with family over the holidays!

P(rarthana) K(aro) !

Conversations caught between the director and his assistants brainstorming through a popular movie.

Scene 1 - 

Assnt: Sir, how about a scene where PK meets a man dressed as lord Shiva in a class room and asks for his remote back?

Dir: Great.  But its less funny.  Make that a Toilet.  

Assnt: Oooh, Shiva in a Toilet is hilarious.  Audience will die laughing, especially the kids.  The next time they  go to a temple, they will remember him through our movie!  I can see the kids go, ‘papa, ye Toilet wala Shiv ji haina, jo hum PK me dekhe the?’  and they will want the DVD to laugh at it again.  Moooar DVD sales. Yeah!

Dir: Awesome, control your excitement.  So back to the screenplay, should we have the man dressed as Shiva run around the city and haplessly? 

Assnt:  Sure.  lets do it.  So he ends up in the evil baba’s meeting.  He hides under the chairs to save himself from PK.

Dir: Lets have close up shots of his bum while he is crawling on his legs through the crowd.

Assnt:  I can see the audience laughing their asses off.  Should we have the crowd chant something during this scene?

Dir: Wait for it…bum bum bole! 

Assnt:  Sir, you are a genious!

                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene 2 - 

Assnt:  Sir, I am tired of shooting in India.  Lets go outside for a scene and a song.

Dir: But there is no need for the script to travel outside India.  Forget it, Which country do you want to travel to? 

Assnt: Belgium!

Dir: Done.  Lets go. Even I need a vacation.

Assnt: Sir in Belgium, lets have our ‘crazy lips’ fall in love with another Indian guy.

Dir: India guy?  Don’t be so 1990s.  We will make her fall in love with a guy from Pakistan.

Assnt: But why sir?  What point are we trying to make here?

Dir:  We are not trying to make a point here, but trying to make money here and in our neighboring countries too.

Assnt: Brilliant move sir.  We will make him the only good charecter in the film. All others will have shades of idiocy or evilness in them.

Dir: Absolutely.  And I have also thought about a scene where ‘crazy lips’ calls Pakistan embassy and the whole embassy helps out in bringing the two lovers together.

Assnt: Will this work sir?  Because this seems a little far fetched!

Dir: Trust me on this.  This will bring tears to peoples eyes.  And besides, we will make Aamir and the rest of the cast cry in that scene, just to prompt the audience.

Assnt:  I am learning so much on the art of making cinema from you, Sir.  Hats off!

                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene 3 - 

Dir: Write down this scene - Aamir sticks posters on walls saying ‘Lost’ with pictures of ALL religions, as he is searching for god.

Assnt: Amazing sir.  So which pictures of God should we get the production boys to design sir?

Dir: Ganesh, Lakshimi, Shiva, Karthikeya and Hanuman.

Assnt: You read my mind sir.  This way, we will remain fair and unbiased while we make this masterpiece. 

Dir: Have you proof read the scenes where the hero performs a puja in a church, that one scene about conversion and the  other two scenes about girls education and wine bottles?  

Assnt: Those 4 scenes have been done sir.  The comic quotient is a little less, I feel.  

Dir: Don’t worry, our movie is 2.5 hours.  These will take just 10 minutes.  I have other plans!

Assnt: I knew it sir.  Thats why you are a class act!

Dir: Don’t forget to make copies of scenes about where we have the hero arguing with baba about practices of taking religious trips far far away, pradakshan (anga pradakshan) and the comedy scene about people worshiping a stone near exam hall.  

Assnt: How can I forget those sir.  Those are gem of scenes.  It really opened my mind about my world and religious view.  

 

Dir: I am also planning to increase the laughter in the Baba introduction scene.  I am going to show the parents as idiots who have the pic of baba on everything in their house.  Even in the bathroom where 'crazy lips' is shown taking bath.  This way I can enlighten everyone from every religion about how people are using gods name to make money.  I am naturally talented like this.

Assnt: Sir, what a way you have with audience pulse!  You are my hero sir.  You can single handily change India sir! 

Dir: Take it easy.  Can you check who is at the door?

Assnt: Sir, Guruji has arrived for our scheduled Lakshmi puja praying for this movie to be a block buster.  

Dir: Ok, everyone ‘Prarthana Karo'

Vasishtar(Visitor) Visa!

“Make it fast Arunthathi, we are going to be late for the pickup”, yelled Vashisht standing outside their bathroom.She has been in there for close to an hour wrapping up her saree and drying her hair. They had to rush to the New York airport to pick up Sambar Podi, Rasam Podi, Aavaka Oorukai and Mormolagai through Air India. Oh, did I mention, Vashisht’s parents were coming along with those items as well.


“Can you stop yelling for few minutes? I cannot be in and out in 5 minutes like you do. It takes time for a woman” came the reply with a decibel level that was not appropriate to human ears.

Img courtesy - This blog

“ Arunthathi, can you increase the size of your pottu(bindhi)? I have to use a microscope to spot one on your forehead”. Arunthathi calls Vashisht ‘old school’, but him being her husband, Vashisht was not allowed to comment on what she does. But today was an exception, as she has to face Lokanathan, a ‘pottu evangalist’.She also had to trade in her low-waist jeans for a traditional pattu(silk) saree. She knows the next 60 days are going to be an uphill and she wanted the right first impression.


“Welcome mama and mami, did you find it difficult to make the connection at Frankfurt airport?” asked Arunthathi with her trademark (fake) smile

“The Asian vegetarian food had nothing but raw greens. I need some rasam badly. Can you make me some good rasam when we get home?” asked Meenakshi betting high on Arunthathi’s culinary skills.
le “So Vashisht, How is the economy nowadays” started Lokanathan. It has just been a 20 hour flight and he talked to Vashisht every single day before he boarded the flight. Somehow the moment he touched down, his eagerness in US economy was on par with Ben Bernanke! “What are your views on Obama’s policies, Vashisht?  I heard he is giving the state of the union address today” he continued.

“Forget about his Views da, is there any good News son?” interjected the curious mother, Meenakshi.

“Amma, please. It’s just been a year since we got married” hushed Vashisht.

“Krishnamoorthy’s grandson is also in New Jersey. Can we go and meet him this weekend? ” Lokanathan continued. He always had this idea that Indians living in the US are somehow familiar to each other and it was totally possible to pin down an Indian just by his name.

So he made statements like -
“Dai Vashisht, I heard that Raghavan just came to the US. See if you can go and meet him?” and something like “Can I give some parupu podi for you with Gowri? She is coming to New Jersey to do her MS”

The concept of country/state/address were non-existent with Lokanathan. Vashisht is used to it by now and did not bother to respond with sarcasm.

Image Courtesy - The Hindu

In preparation of their arrival, Vashisht’s house went through a laundry list of changes. Moving to two bedroom, hooking up a SUN TV connection, re-dusting his pancha paathram and pooja shelves to name a few.

"Dai Vashisht, today is Aadi Velli. I made your favorite paal payasam. Have it before you rush to work" compelled Meenakshi. Vashisht couldn't ask for more. His cereal mornings now became a Idly/Dosai morning, and yes - no Rajma chaval anymore. Meanwhile Meekankshi’s mega serial evenings saw no change 7000 miles apart.  That was not the case with Arunthathi tho. He couldn't make her favorite Dhal makhani for dinner anymore. The Adai/Aviyal overtook Aloo Tikki as a predominant evening food.

“Hello Vashisht, this smoke alarm has starting making loud noises.  I am not sure what to do.  Can you come on video chat” the requests for online help were plenty and continued during Vashisht’s work hours.  

3 weeks in, now Lokanathan had made twice as much friends in the community than Vashisht had made in his entire life.  "Vashisht, lakshmi from unit 503 is a very nice lady da.  They are from Thirupathi.  They wanted us to come over for dinner this Saturday.  And oh, Rajdeep from #212 also invited us for his 2nd sons 3rd birthday party this Sunday"
Lokanathan had officially take over Vashisht's weekend calendar.  He was not complaining with the free food at every party.  But the pressure on Vashisht and Arunthathi kept building for the good news with several enquiries from other parents at the party.  After all food doesn’t come for free!


“Vashisht, this is great da!  The views from the top of the empire state building is breath taking.  Let me take a selfie before your mother walks in.”  Lokanathan was exited holding the phone to his face.”

"Forget about the views pa, we have some good news!  Have some sweets pa. “

Meenakshi barged in hearing the news from behind.  “See I told you.  There was something fishy with today’s plans.  I am so happy for you Arunthathi.  Oh my god, I am going to be a grand mother at this young age of 65!.  Give me your phone, I need to call like a million people to convey the news”

They truly were on top of the world! 




Vashishtar Who?

Bhārat Calling Bharath

Featured in BlogAdda's Tangy Tuesday Pics!

Bharath had never thought about returning to India.  After all, he had an amazing job at Amazon and had everything that he wished for in life - well mostly.

His father named him Bharath as he was born on 15^th of Aug.  He grew up in Gwalior with an extended family setup.  He had to share a small 2 bed house with one of his uncle's families, had to fight into getting to the top 1% for his engineering admission reservation system, bribe his way out for one of his land disputes, had a sneezing rate of 3/min because of dust allergies and had a broken limb riding his Rajdoot bike just because a water tanker decided to cut a lane during Gwalior’s rush hour.

His student visa to University of Los Angeles was his ticket to the ultimate goal in his life.  To the USA!

7 years on, now the only Indian-ness left in him was with his name.  He had finally found his home in a land far off of his own.  He avoided going back to India for 7 straight years just to maintain his permanent application status.  Staying in the US was really important to him and the moment he got his green card, he genuinely thought that he had made it in his life.

And then a thing called Marriage happened. 

Shriya was very hesitant to quit her job and sacrifice hanging out with her friends and relatives just to be in the US.  Like all the other girls, she finally gave up and married the guy her parents thought was a good match for her.  They had a great first 2 years of marriage.  And then it slowly started to show up. Bharat was calling her back.

She could never mentally be in the US.  Every major move, every major financial decision has to go through a primary filter of ‘is this worth it now, considering we might be moving back to India sooner?’

Bharath could not handle the stress Shriya was putting him through.  They had their “discussion” (fancy term for fight) every other week about why staying in US/India is better.  Each of them had their reasons.  It started interfering in their daily existence. Conversations like these became common -

“Bharath, there is no need to upgrade our Sofa right now.  We are good with our current 2 seater sofa.  Morever, we might be moving back to India sooner – so we don’t want to pile things up – yes?”

and things like - 

“No Shriya, lets lease a new BMW, its just $200/month more than our current payment.  You know it will be worth it”

“I have told you many a times Bharath, this would be a commitment for another 2 more years.  I don’t think we would be staying here that long.  We need to pack up sooner.  You don’t know what you are missing our there in India.  You have been away way for too long.  It’s a totally different place now.   Trust me you will love it”

----

“I don’t want a iPhone from Verizon– get me one from AT&T so that we can unlock it once we go back to India” Shriya got into Bharath’s nerves way too often.

----

“But what about our planned trip to Hawaii” Bharath would try to please her.

“Nothing like being there for your brothers Sagaai” Shriya would counter argue.

"You love going on a hike honey" –

"I do, but imagine me and you on your vintage Rajdoot 350 bike".  She tried to poke his motorcycle fanboyism.

"India has way too much air pollution"

"Complaining about your own homeland is not the right solution".  

>>>Fast forward 2 years >>>

Bharath now comes back from his exhausting day at work at Flipkart’s Bangaluru head quarters, bribed his way out for his son’s school admission and has a sneeze rate of 5/min.   

But he couldn’t care less.  He was so excited and looking forward for celebrating Diwali with his 15 cousins, has a vacation home setup at his ancestral village, takes his parents himself for their annual health checkups and was there for his grandfather’s final days.  He had just realized what he missed out all these years and how much fun and important it was to be back to where he really belonged.

“Shriya honey, what’s wrong - we are getting late for our IPL game”

“Bharath, I cannot take this anymore.  I want to go back to the US”

“What, why?  This was your idea, remember?  And I am so thankful for you making me move here”

“Yea, I know, but this city is not cosmopolitan enough for me”

“What are you talking about? - You are from Luknow for god sakes!”

“No, I miss Los Angeles.  Moreover, there are always some relatives at our home.  There is no alone time for us anymore.  Also your Mom visits us way too frequently these days.  I miss the pollution and noise free environment.  And don’t get me started on the traffic here.  I want to move there next month”

“But your cousin’s Sagaai is next month.  We have to be here Shriya.”

“Forget Sagaai, I am already planning my next summer vacation in Hawaii!”

And then they fought happily ever after.

http://blog.blogadda.com/2014/08/13/best-creative-blog-posts-2

Atlanta Amarkalam!

Atlanta Amarkalam!

“Raji, did you get the mallipoo from Ganapathi Flowers?  Please do keep that in a ice Pack and Check them In.  Kaalavarathadi, please!” exclaimed Sambandhamoorthi to his sister Swarna.  The poo Maalais were delivered directly on a overnight flight from Nungambaakam to New Jersey’s Ganapathi Flower shops.  Swarna had just discovered that such a store exists and was all excited to bring the much desiered mallipoo for her Manni’s Seemandham.  Mallipoo was the highlight among the Maamis, of course.

Sambandhamoorthi had way too many things to deal for the 30+ guests that he had invited and the 20+ that showed up uninvited.  His mom and dad came from Delhi, his mamanar and mamiyar from Chennai, brother-in-law No.1 with his family from Chicago, brother-in-law No.2 from Arizona, Sister & Maaplai from New Jersey, his close friend from London on a business visit and the vaadhiyaar varadhachari from south carolina.  It was almost like a United Nations meeting organized in Atlanta

 “Sambandh, I missed the previous two episodes of Selvi.  Do you have SunTV here?” Sambandh’s amma Atlandam, err..Akilandam was worried.  Luckily for her, he had just purchased a Mega-Maga-Super Package from YuppTV and got her covered for Mangai, selvi, thaali baagyam, thirumanam, karbam and Valaikaapu serials! 

Vaadyaar Varadhachari was very adaptable.  Even his slokams were. "Gangesa Yamune seva Godhavari Saraswathi" became "Missori, Columbia river seva Hudson, Missisipi"! Ok, I made that up.  But he was very adaptable in every other aspect like not minding the buffet and sharing the guest house with the rest of the relatives.

Rangaachari’s  bakshanam (seeru murku, mysore paaku and laddu) was a delight.  Sambandam specially went on a 4 day lookout to find a vegetarian, iyer, tamil speaking, non-drinking and clean (ok, I over-did that) cook all over Atlanta and found Rangaachari around 40 miles from his home.  “You initially paid me 600 dollars, then you added 10 more people, so you totally owe me 675 dollars.  Please verify all the 10 items that you have ordered.  Be careful with the Aviyal and the Paayasam, they might spill in your car” told the cook, counting the dollars while Sambandh collected the lunch items from Rangaachari’s home/restaurant. 

“Maami, everyone was talking about the paayasam this morning, but I never had anything left for me” complained Keerthi maami.  “Who was the cook?” was the most asked question of the day.  The food was that popular and the cook Rangaachari was more popular, thanks to his Andra style Katrikaai curry in the morning and his rasmalai in the evening.  Just after that function, Rangaachar got catering orders for 2 more seemanthams, 3 Grahapravesams, 1 Aandunaraivu and 4 Satyanarayan pooja.  He planned to upgrade his small Nissan Sentra to a spacious Honda Accord after that week.  That was the impact of his food for the Seemandham.

“Mama, have you seen the Coca-Cola factory in Atlanta?  I can take you there if you want to.  I work there, so if you need free passes let me know” one of Sambanth’s friends Murali was busy chatting with his appa.  “I even brought 5 liters of Coke for the evening party, mama” he continued! 

The function went well with house filled with guests and relatives with people making plans for Atlanta aquarium while munching their Athirasam and guys trying to dodge those plans to watch the Sunday movie on Sun TV constituted some of the discussions during lunch.

“Appa, we had to go for Sambandhamoorthi’s house function tomorrow.  His parents are here, so we can invite them for your Shashtiyapthapoorthi next week” said the neighbor Sainath with excitement.  One could sense the desperation on getting hold of guests for a function in the United States.  Afterall, any of our function is never complete without playing kids (Only the Indian variety screams for some odd reason), your manni persuading her crying infant, your athai and chitti complimenting each other on their pattu podavai, that one very social athimber who lightens up the occasion, brother-in-laws discussing the housing market and their investment plans and of course friends who keep us going.  People make up the occasion, and Sai did realize that. 

Sainath had now got one mami and a mama for his function and is now on the lookout for the rest in his neighbourhood.  After all, people make up the occasions and they are always a rarity in this part of the world!  Luckily that was not the case for Sambandhamoorthy!

From Gandhi ji to 2G!

From Gandhi ji to 2G!

Anna Hazarre was dragged into Tihar and was shown his cell by the mighty Delhi police.

He finds a man wandering around the cell with his cell phone “Hello, Helooo….seriya kekala, I can’t hear you…bloody cell phone towers”

He threw his phone in a corner and turned back to notice that he got a new cell mate. “Hello saaar. I am Raja, you must have seen me on TV lately. Who are you and what brings you to Tihar at this age?”

“ Lokpal brought me here”, said Anna calmly.

“ Who is Lokpal? I have a friend named Dhanabaal, but never heard of Lokpal. Is he a Tamilian as well? Let me Google that on my 2G iPhone”. Raja’s phone did not work, as usual. “Why don’t you tell that yourself, Saaar. BTW, I did not get your name”

“My name is Anna. I wanted the Government to pass the Lokpal bill to implement anti-corruption law in India. This way we can keep a check on the increasing corruption index in our country. I planned to fast till the government accepts to discuss the bill, but they feared a national outrage and did not allow me to sit in the park to fast with my fellow supporters. I am surprised that you have never heard about that, Raja”

“That is a fantastic idea, Anna. Wonder why people are against that bill. So this is the law which governs all the Government officers and peunes, yes? There needs to be a check on those people collecting Rs.50 and Rs.100 for their regular work. I fully support you, Anna ji”

“Yes, it does and also includes all the way up to the Prime Minister of our country”

“What?? Noooo. You mean Manmohan ji will also be under this law? Eih Buddhe, what are you talking about? Sonia ji supersedes any law in this country”

“No, son. That is the whole point of this bill. There needs to a supreme body governing our system. We need to at least start thinking about how to fix it. I am not expecting a change in the next year or two, but it is just the beginning. Every big change starts as a small movement, and I am confident that this bill will see the light someday. When I see thousands of young men and women on the streets showing their support, it just gives me hope to continue fighting for this cause at this age. Think about how far our country can grow if we get the corruption under control to a reasonable level. Just think about it son. At your age, I started a small reform in my village and slowly it grew into a model village for our country on how to be sustainable and leads our country in environmental conservation”

“Raja….He is brainwashing you. Don’t fall for it” screamed a voice from the next cell. Raja recognized and immediately responded back, “Don’t worry Kalmadi, I got this”.

“Anna, don’t play with my mind with your Gandhian ideologies. We as a country have moved far, far away from that type of thinking. Gandhiji is so 1940 s. It is 2G in this 21^st Century! Kalmadi, I need to shift my cell. Let me be your cell mate, bro. Let’s discuss about our prospects in future cabinets”

Bhaktha Prahallathan

Bhaktha Prahallathan

“Aandava…Please make it happen this time”, prayed Prahallathan standing outside Rajeshwari temple near his Vadapalani office. His elder sister is reaching her mid 30s and the ‘society’ was doing its share to make sure that he was reminded of this fact every other day. Devi was not getting any younger, and Prahallathan Varathachari Ramanujan, or PVR as he was fondly called, was losing patience as this is not clearing his way in getting married to his long time girl friend Kamala.

For him it absolutely had to happen this year. This was almost a make or break for him. He got another chance after the unsuccessful attempt a few years before.

PVR did everything that was possible in his reach to make it happen and in fact came very close in finalizing things three years before. As the other party was living near Kasi, and wanted to meet him in a public place, he took the trip to Kasi three years before with enormous hopes. To his bad luck, Kasi was flooded with devotees right from 4 AM and they diverted all the traffic leading to that place. All he got to see was the Abishekam of the Urchavar, as he stood outside and did his Prarthana. Moolavar was far from his reach! That alliance did not materialize.

He is not going to let others keep speaking about his ‘situation’ this time. He went to multiple astrologers to find out why things are not working out after all his efforts.

‘Kaazhiyoor Narayanan’ guaranteed that he will succeed in his attempts this weekend, if he performed the ‘raaghu kaala pooja’ for Surian and Chandiran.

‘Lucky Stone Lingeshwaran’ suggested that wearing Emerald on his right index finger would bring him good charm.

‘Vaasthu Varadharajan’ had his own doubts. Since this was no laughing matter that Prahallathan was dealing with, he compulsorily told that there should be a laughing Buddha kept at the entrance of his house for his efforts to succeed.

‘Praahellaetheen’ did everything he could. Yup, he did not miss to visit ‘Numerology 7Malai’ as well. ‘Subamuhurtham Soundarapaandi’ marked 4:00 AM to 4:30 AM as the best time to go out for this particular search.

Finally, the day Prahallathan was waiting for had arrived. He was up at 3 AM, took the customary oil bath, got blessings from his parents, said not to worry to his sister and got out of the house at 4:00 AM sharp. By the time he reached the venue, there were already 100 people ahead of him. He dodged the line and got into the top 10. He finally made it!!

Prahallathan couldn’t believe it actually happened this time. It was all like a Mayajaal to him. He finally got his tickets for the first day first show for his Thalaivar’s Enthiran – The Robot!

Three years before, his attempt at getting the tickets for Sivaji – The Boss was unsuccessful and he made up for that! Now he can watch both the Paalabishekam for the Urchavar cutout and also see the Aarthi for the Moolavar, when his thalaivar appears on the screen! He cannot wait for his ‘Robo’Valli in just a week!!

For Bhaktha Prahallathan, his Thalaivar was God and the theaters in Chennai [ (AVM)Rajeshwari, Devi, Kamala, Kasi, Prarthana, Suriyan, Chandiran and Mayajaal ] were the temples that screen them!

Inspired by Appa’s vaitherichal Idea :) His work is available HERE and HERE.

Kyunki, Lakshmi wants something too!

Kyunki, Lakshmi wants something too!

(Silver winner of Blogadda's What Women Want contest.! Thank you RG for the inspiration!)

“Lakshmi….I need some pickle for my curd rice. Can you get that from the Kitchen?” - requested Gopalan, with a mild voice. But Lakshmi was more worried about Tulsi’s life. She was worried if Tulsi could ever get married after the tragic demise of her boyfriend. She was choked in sorrow, and getting the pickle for Gopalan’s curd rice was least of her priorities.

She was immersed in the Tamil dubbed version of ‘Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi’. Gopalan has almost made this a habit of bugging Lakshmi for one thing or the other during this time. He thinks that she is damaging her brain cells by watching this soap.

In her defense ‘Kyunki’ was the only ‘her time’ she got in her busy day. She wakes up at 3 AM to make sure Mark, in Australia, gets all the help he wants to troubleshoot his new Windows 7 PC. Her younger son Sundar has to be in TCS by 4 AM, so that he can start trouble shooting (Sir, is your desktop plugged in? Yes sir, you have to plug it in first, and THEN press the power button. Oh it works? great. You are welcome, sir) computers in Australia. Sundar hates eating outside, and Lakshmi know this. She makes sure she packs him both breakfast and lunch. This pretty much eats up her time before the sunrise. Once the rest of the world wakes up she takes care of her ‘routine’, which includes a gazillion things in a systematic order. She almost eases through these and still allocates time to feed and assist Gopalan’s bed ridden mother. Even though she felt this responsibility has been forced into her, she never once showed her disapproval straight to his mother.

Gopalan gets it. He thought he had pretty good control over her likes, and made sure that he gets those to her before even she asks.

If Lakshmi is waking up at 3AM, he gets up at 2:30 to makes sure the water heater is on. If she is busy making Sundar’s lunch, he prepares her morning filter coffee. Every time she is helping his ailing mother, Gopalan is pretty vocal about how appreciative he is of all the effort she is putting into this. He patiently waits for hours (some time days) solving Sudoku outside Sareeworld, while Lakshmi takes her own time selecting the Sundari silk saree of her choice. Since Lakshmi thinks that Luknow is the awesomest place in the whole friggin world (Yes, her parents place), he makes it a point that they all went to Luknow at least twice a year in the name of vacation. He even got her an aquarium when Sundar was 4, and throwing everything that he got in hand. He took the responsibility of maintaining and feeding the fishes, and still does till date.

He analyzed himself on how he has done so far. Complementing her efforts – check. Sharing family work load – check. Provide emotional and moral support – check. Cater to her personal likes/dislikes – check. Respecting her personal space – check. Being a great husband overall – check. But this was all in his mind.

But what did Lakshmi REALLY want?

One full hour of uninterrupted ‘Kyunki Saas…’ goodness. Somehow Gopalan failed to understand this!

This post is my lame attempt for BlogAdda's contest - What Women Want!

Sponsored by Pringoo

Women power
Couples and their pranks

Funny Tamil One Liners

Funny Tamil One Liners (தமிழ் காமெடி பஞ்ச்)

Here is a collection of ma favorite comedy one liners from Tamil Cinema. Apparently Goundamani and Vadivelu fill up most of my memory.

Feel if I have missed some? Comment it out!

Goundamani

1. arasiyal vazhkaila ithellam sagajamappa!

2. Narayana...intha kosu thollai thanga mudillada

3. start meesik!

4. Onnu intha irruku...Unnunu enga?

5. Pera paaru....Sangoothara vayasala Sangeeetha

6. Athu enda enna paathu antha kelvi ketta?

7. Vadi partasarathy...

8. Enga villan varapo kai thatreenga? -- ithu tha padathula oru turrning pointu

9. Dai appa...unnala ore oru nanmada...vazhka poora nan current bill katnathillada

10. Naangalavathu ungakita sollitu than vanthom...neeennga

11. Dai thaadi..25 varusham kazhichu un vazkaila kabi..kabi nadanthurukunu roma thullatha?

12. petromas light-ey thaan venuma? intha theepanddam ellam koluthikka koodatha?

13. Intha world lileye car vechurukara karagata troop nammuluthu than

14. Hey inga poosu...inga poosu...Ganda kannalagi

15. Hey take the tontiphy

16. Dai kidna naaye..avlolam kuduka mudiyathu

17. Nee sonna vaakiyatha thanjavore kalvetula eludhi vachitu neeyum pakkathula utkanthuko.....unnaku pinadi vara santhathikal atha paathu thelivaa naadhukuvanga...

18. shhh...Mother poranga -- Yaaru namma ammangla -- No, Mother Superior -- Ooo Supaari paaku poduvangala?

19. Dai kidna naaye..avlolam kuduka mudiyathu

20. pen paathukarathu thaarathoda thagapanar....Pen Paathu udrathu thaarathoda thaayar

21. Aalaaparu....Manasula Michael Jackson thangachi nu nenapu

22. Cinema nadigai soppanasundariya yaaru vechuruka nu kekaran

23. Suriyana suttathu yaaru? Hee He..Suriyana yaarum suda mudiyathu sir..Suriya veppam than nammala sudum.

Vadivelu

1. Vanthutaanya....Vanthutaaya

2. Room pottu yosipaangalo?

3. Enna vechu comedy keemedy pannalaiye?

4. Ennaku risk edukarathellam rask saapudramathiri

5. Thaniya poi keeta athu thagararu---Thanniya pottu poi ketta athu varalaru

6. Enna poramaiya.....Liggghtttta

7. Yov..naanum rowdi thaanya...Ennayum jeepla yethu

Vivek

1. Figure a paatha udne Friend a cut pannitiyeda

2. Neenga verum daasa...illa laad labaku dasa?

3. Epdi irruntha nan ipdi aaiten

4. Padhil sonna prize oru kodi...Enga aalunga adicha nee dead body

Other

1. Rendaayiram....Naalayiram.....Ettayiram....Mama Biskothu! (Pandiyarajan)

2. Engiyoo poitenga sir (Janagaraj)

3. Thraaambi...(Veniradai Moorthi)

4. Anee....thula epdine light eriyum?(Senthil)