Vacation Geolocation

"Ganga, lets not get carried away by this.  We are going to India for just 3 weeks.  I have equally split the times between your house and my house.  We stay at my place for 15 days and we stay at yours for 10 days.  It sounds totally fair and lets not make this a big deal considering we have stayed in the US for gazillion years without a vacation." 

"Very funny Gowtham.  I am not staying less than 15 days at my place in Delhi.  There is no room for further negotiation on this.  I am going there after 2 years, so it better be worth it.  I have already made plans with Tina, Meena and Ranchal.  And by the way, why do you want spend more time at your place?  You are just going to sit there and watch TV for eternity.  Which is exactly what you do over here too.  Why do you even bother traveling 7000 miles for it?" 

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"You will never get it Ganga.  It is a different feel. You have to experience to love them.  How do I explain to you? Its like having a gol gappa at an restaurant innovatively named as ‘Taj Mahal’ in Chicago vs having it by the streets at Connaught place.  It is like listening to Sunidhi Chouhan vs. Shreya Goshal.  You know what I mean?"

"Great.  I don’t remember you showing so much feeling and emotion towards me in all these years.  Keep your food analogies to yourself, and don’t try too hard referencing something from the north.  Stick to your Idly/Sambaar and Rajnikanth."

"Ok, back to our topic.  I said 15 days at my place because clearly I have a mathematical advantage over it.  8 Athais, 12 Perippas, 5 Chittis, and 3 Mamas.  Each gets a visit for 30 minutes plus we have 9 Temples to cover.  So if you do the math, we actually need 18 days.  I am being gracious in saying we need just 15 days out of 25 days of our trip."

"As if I am the single person on my entire family.  What about all my mami s family who you have successfully skipped in all our previous trips?  We also have to go to our 3rd cousin's 4th sister marriage.  I cannot miss that.  There is also Kullu Manali on my mind as well.  So be a little practical."

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"Sorry Ganga, this is not possible.  Either we spend 15 days at ours and 10 days at yours or we are not going at all.  I am serious this time.  Forget the trip."

"I have called your bluff before and will call it again.  The answer is no.  We are staying 15 days at mine and 10 in yours.  Done.  Lets move on."

******

"No Ganga.  I said No.  Lets cancel it.  Lets cancel it.  Lets not go at all."

******

"Gowtam…Gowtam…wake up.  What are you yelling about?  Its 6AM.  Go get the milk from outside.  I have to get Prinyanka ready for school."

Goutam slowly realized that he was dreaming about how things went there back in the US. He was thinking about how things have changed as he reached outside the gate in his Mumbai flat to grab milk.  Everything has changed, except Priyanka’s half-yearly vacations were due in a month - and the same conversation about Geolocating their vacation was due - this time the fight will be three ways!

Bhaktha Prahallathan

Bhaktha Prahallathan

“Aandava…Please make it happen this time”, prayed Prahallathan standing outside Rajeshwari temple near his Vadapalani office. His elder sister is reaching her mid 30s and the ‘society’ was doing its share to make sure that he was reminded of this fact every other day. Devi was not getting any younger, and Prahallathan Varathachari Ramanujan, or PVR as he was fondly called, was losing patience as this is not clearing his way in getting married to his long time girl friend Kamala.

For him it absolutely had to happen this year. This was almost a make or break for him. He got another chance after the unsuccessful attempt a few years before.

PVR did everything that was possible in his reach to make it happen and in fact came very close in finalizing things three years before. As the other party was living near Kasi, and wanted to meet him in a public place, he took the trip to Kasi three years before with enormous hopes. To his bad luck, Kasi was flooded with devotees right from 4 AM and they diverted all the traffic leading to that place. All he got to see was the Abishekam of the Urchavar, as he stood outside and did his Prarthana. Moolavar was far from his reach! That alliance did not materialize.

He is not going to let others keep speaking about his ‘situation’ this time. He went to multiple astrologers to find out why things are not working out after all his efforts.

‘Kaazhiyoor Narayanan’ guaranteed that he will succeed in his attempts this weekend, if he performed the ‘raaghu kaala pooja’ for Surian and Chandiran.

‘Lucky Stone Lingeshwaran’ suggested that wearing Emerald on his right index finger would bring him good charm.

‘Vaasthu Varadharajan’ had his own doubts. Since this was no laughing matter that Prahallathan was dealing with, he compulsorily told that there should be a laughing Buddha kept at the entrance of his house for his efforts to succeed.

‘Praahellaetheen’ did everything he could. Yup, he did not miss to visit ‘Numerology 7Malai’ as well. ‘Subamuhurtham Soundarapaandi’ marked 4:00 AM to 4:30 AM as the best time to go out for this particular search.

Finally, the day Prahallathan was waiting for had arrived. He was up at 3 AM, took the customary oil bath, got blessings from his parents, said not to worry to his sister and got out of the house at 4:00 AM sharp. By the time he reached the venue, there were already 100 people ahead of him. He dodged the line and got into the top 10. He finally made it!!

Prahallathan couldn’t believe it actually happened this time. It was all like a Mayajaal to him. He finally got his tickets for the first day first show for his Thalaivar’s Enthiran – The Robot!

Three years before, his attempt at getting the tickets for Sivaji – The Boss was unsuccessful and he made up for that! Now he can watch both the Paalabishekam for the Urchavar cutout and also see the Aarthi for the Moolavar, when his thalaivar appears on the screen! He cannot wait for his ‘Robo’Valli in just a week!!

For Bhaktha Prahallathan, his Thalaivar was God and the theaters in Chennai [ (AVM)Rajeshwari, Devi, Kamala, Kasi, Prarthana, Suriyan, Chandiran and Mayajaal ] were the temples that screen them!

Inspired by Appa’s vaitherichal Idea :) His work is available HERE and HERE.

Funny Tamil One Liners

Funny Tamil One Liners (தமிழ் காமெடி பஞ்ச்)

Here is a collection of ma favorite comedy one liners from Tamil Cinema. Apparently Goundamani and Vadivelu fill up most of my memory.

Feel if I have missed some? Comment it out!

Goundamani

1. arasiyal vazhkaila ithellam sagajamappa!

2. Narayana...intha kosu thollai thanga mudillada

3. start meesik!

4. Onnu intha irruku...Unnunu enga?

5. Pera paaru....Sangoothara vayasala Sangeeetha

6. Athu enda enna paathu antha kelvi ketta?

7. Vadi partasarathy...

8. Enga villan varapo kai thatreenga? -- ithu tha padathula oru turrning pointu

9. Dai appa...unnala ore oru nanmada...vazhka poora nan current bill katnathillada

10. Naangalavathu ungakita sollitu than vanthom...neeennga

11. Dai thaadi..25 varusham kazhichu un vazkaila kabi..kabi nadanthurukunu roma thullatha?

12. petromas light-ey thaan venuma? intha theepanddam ellam koluthikka koodatha?

13. Intha world lileye car vechurukara karagata troop nammuluthu than

14. Hey inga poosu...inga poosu...Ganda kannalagi

15. Hey take the tontiphy

16. Dai kidna naaye..avlolam kuduka mudiyathu

17. Nee sonna vaakiyatha thanjavore kalvetula eludhi vachitu neeyum pakkathula utkanthuko.....unnaku pinadi vara santhathikal atha paathu thelivaa naadhukuvanga...

18. shhh...Mother poranga -- Yaaru namma ammangla -- No, Mother Superior -- Ooo Supaari paaku poduvangala?

19. Dai kidna naaye..avlolam kuduka mudiyathu

20. pen paathukarathu thaarathoda thagapanar....Pen Paathu udrathu thaarathoda thaayar

21. Aalaaparu....Manasula Michael Jackson thangachi nu nenapu

22. Cinema nadigai soppanasundariya yaaru vechuruka nu kekaran

23. Suriyana suttathu yaaru? Hee He..Suriyana yaarum suda mudiyathu sir..Suriya veppam than nammala sudum.

Vadivelu

1. Vanthutaanya....Vanthutaaya

2. Room pottu yosipaangalo?

3. Enna vechu comedy keemedy pannalaiye?

4. Ennaku risk edukarathellam rask saapudramathiri

5. Thaniya poi keeta athu thagararu---Thanniya pottu poi ketta athu varalaru

6. Enna poramaiya.....Liggghtttta

7. Yov..naanum rowdi thaanya...Ennayum jeepla yethu

Vivek

1. Figure a paatha udne Friend a cut pannitiyeda

2. Neenga verum daasa...illa laad labaku dasa?

3. Epdi irruntha nan ipdi aaiten

4. Padhil sonna prize oru kodi...Enga aalunga adicha nee dead body

Other

1. Rendaayiram....Naalayiram.....Ettayiram....Mama Biskothu! (Pandiyarajan)

2. Engiyoo poitenga sir (Janagaraj)

3. Thraaambi...(Veniradai Moorthi)

4. Anee....thula epdine light eriyum?(Senthil)

Madisar and the City - The Remix

Madisar and the City - The Remix
Year - 2010

Location - Mylapore, Chennai

Context - Bored of Mangai, Thali Pudhusu, Thali Baagyam, Manjal Kayiru, Kunguman, Thulasi, Penn Dheivam and the sterio typical Mega Serials - Visalam and Gomathy turn their attention to 'Sex and the City' - now being televised on SUN TV!

They analyze the ins and outs of the series on a Monday afternoon with some filter kaapi and a plate of hot bajjis.

Over to Visalam and Gomathi.Visalam : Yendi nethu intha Samantha panna kariyatha paathionno!

Gomathi : Yaaru Sex and the City Samantha va pathiya sollre?

Visalam: Vera yaarapathidi nan unkitta pesa poren

Gomathi: nanum paathen…avalukunu vanthu pasanga maatraale!

Visalam: irunthaalum oru pombaliku ivlo aangaram aagathudi ma.

Gomathi: Samantha oru New York Neelambari ndra!!! Athu irrukatum, nethiku Charlotte oda dressa paathiya….Enna azhaga irunthuthu illa!

Visalam: pinna GUCCI azaga illama eppadi irrukum….naanum enga aathukarara ore oru GUCCI handbag vangi kodungo nu keetu keetu aluthu poiten….manuzhan asaiya maatendrar……..”GUCCI velaiya paathu , en MOOCHU ninnu POCHU” nu asatu comment vera! Intha manushana asaika mudiyathunu naanum vittuten.

Gomathi: Seri vidudi…namellam Gucci catalog pakarthoda niruthika vendiyathan.

Visalam: Carie oda booku nethu publication ku approve aadithu paathiya

Gomathi: aama, avaloda boy friend ku pogavendiya chance athu. Ithu theriyama antha paithyam avantiye poi, peethindruku…….mukkavasi ava renduperum adutha vaaram break up aaiduvanu nenaikaren

Visalam: avalumthan ethana aamblaya maathuvalo!!

Gomathi: nalu perukum boy friend e irruka koodathu…..appdi irunthalum break-up aaidanum….kalyaname aagakoodathu…….apdi aanalum annulment’o divorce’o aaidanum……..illena kathaila oru viruvirupe illama poidume. Single a irrukaravaraikum than sex and the ciry, kalyanam aaiduthuna, vex and the city.

Visalam: nee vena paru, antha Carie ku avaloda high school boy friend than set aaga porathu

Gomathi: yaru, antha mental asylathla thanna thaane check-in panindathe….athuva….

Visalam: Ennamo ma….namma vazha nenacha vazhkaiya ava naalu perum vazhra….hmmmmm

Gomathi: Samantha alavuku vendam……oru Miranda alavukkavathu nu kekaraiyakum… seri..seri…rumba perumoochu vidatha….unga aathukaarar ketuda porar…..appram Family Guy Peter Griffin mathiri melaiyum kezhaiyum kuthipaar, antha asatu sirpooda!

(Note1- No, I don't watch Sex and the City - so stop judging me;) )

(Note2- To the horny dude who was directed to this page by Google, I exactly know what you searched for(Thank you Google Analytics) , and this aint the stuff which you should have known by now:)) )

An interesting conversation

I found this post from Metro blogging - Chennai interesting and funny. I cannot take credit for this.

An interesting conversation
The Lord surveyed the Ram Setu and said "Hanuman, how diligently and strenuously you and your vanara sena had built this bridge several centuries back. It is remarkable that it has withstood the ravages of the climatic and geographical changes over centuries. It is indeed an amazing feat especially considering the fact that a bridge at Hyderabad built by Gammon using latest technology collapsed the other day even before they could stick the posters on its pillars."
Hanuman with all humility spoke "Jai Sri Ram, it is all because of your grace. We just scribbled your name on the bricks and threw them in the sea and they held. No steel from TISCO or cement from Ambuja or ACC was ever used. But Lord, why rake up the old issue now."

Ram spoke "Well, Hanuman some people down there want to demolish the bridge and construct a canal. The contract involves lot of money and lot of money will be made. They will make money on demolition and make more money on construction. "
Hanuman humbly bowed down and said "Why not we go down and present our case?"
Ram said "Times have changed since we were down there. They will ask us to submit age proof and we don't have either a birth certificate or school leaving certificate. We traveled mainly on foot and sometimes in bullock carts and so we don't have a driving license either. As far as the address proof is concerned the fact that I was born at Ayodhya is itself under litigation for over half a century, If I go in a traditional attire with bow and arrow, the ordinary folks may recognize me but Arjun Singh may take me to be some tribal and, at the most, offer a seat at IIT under the reserved category. Also, a God cannot walk in dressed in a three-piece suit and announce his arrival. It would make even the devotees suspicious. So it is dilemma so to say."
Hanuman: "I can vouch for you by saying that I personally built the bridge."
Ram: "My dear, Anjani putra, it will not work. They will ask you to produce the lay-out plan, the project details, including financial outlay and how the project cost was met and the completion certificate. Nothing is accepted without documentary evidence in India. You may cough but unless a doctor certifies it, you have no cough. A pensioner may present himself personally but the authorities do not take it as proof. He has to produce a life-certificate to prove that he is alive. It is that complicated. "
Hanuman: "Lord can't understand these historians. Over the years you have given darshan once every hundred years to saints like Surdas, Tulsidas, Saint Thyagaraja, Jayadeva, Bhadrachala Ramdas and even Sant Tukaram and still they disbelieve your existence and say Ramayana is a myth.
Hanuman: The only option, I see, is to re-enact Ramayana on earth and set the government records straight once for all."
Lord smiled "It isn't that easy today. Ravan is apprehensive that he may look like a saint in front of Karunanidhi. I also spoke to his mama Mareecha, who appeared as a golden deer to tempt Sita maiyya when I was in the forest and he said that he won't take a chance of stepping on earth as long as Salman Khan is around."






Origional post here -
http://chennai.metblogs.com/archives/2007/10/a_bridge_too_far.phtml

HEY RAM !!!

HEY RAM !!!
["...suddenly a man, who was later identified as Nathu Ram Godse took steps out of the crowd and fired three shots at Mahatmaji. Bullets hit him on the stomach and chest. The Mahatma fell down saying Ram-Ram..."]
– Nand Lal Mehta, in the First Information Report recorded on January 30, 1948, at 9.45 p.m.